Contents • • • • • Career [ ] In, Finesse and his former partner DJ Mike Smooth signed with, home of other popular hip hop artists such as,,, and In, the duo released their debut album. The album featured production from future star beat-makers, and Showbiz. Soon after, Finesse formed the popular New York underground crew D.I.T.C., an acronym for 'Diggin In The Crates', together with and. Future members included,,, and. Finesse returned as a solo artist in early with his second effort,. The album featured guest appearances from and AG.

Diamond D discography and songs: Music profile for Diamond D, born April 5, 1970. Genres: East Coast Hip Hop, Boom Bap, Hardcore Hip Hop. Albums include The Score, Runaway Slave, and Stunts, Blunts & Hip Hop.

The album's title track peaked at number 13 on the Hot Rap Singles chart. Return of the Funky Man also included a couple of songs that were produced by Finesse himself, and this would be the start of a career as a much respected hip-hop producer. In Finesse made a production appearance on 's classic debut, on the track '. In, he produced a big portion of 's debut album, including the single 'M.V.P.' And made an appearance on one of the album's highlight songs 'Da Graveyard'.

He returned as an artist in with the now rare 12' single 'Check The Method' and then the acclaimed album. Finesse produced the entire album himself, and enlisted a large number of guests, including,,,,, and. The underground single 'Actual Facts' featuring, and, was included as a hidden track on the album. Finesse hasn't released a studio album since this effort, but has continued his production work. In, he produced the title track to O.C.' S acclaimed effort and the track 'Channel 10' off of 's debut. Finesse released a mixtape called Diggin' On Blue in.

Later in the year, he produced the track 'The Message' on 's seminal album. Finesse is currently working on a Funky Technician remix project, as well as a new D.I.T.C. Along with these projects, he and DJ Premier are working on a posthumous Big L album. In 1998, Finesse provided the vocal sample on the hook to ', a hit single by British musician from his album. The song features Finesse's repeated line 'Right about now, the funk soul brother. Check it out now, the funk soul brother'.

Lord Finesse returned to the mic on 's album in 2004. He was featured on the song entitled 'Rock 'N' Roll (Could Never Hip-Hop Like This) pt. 2', collaborating with famous old-school DJ's Grand Wizard Theodore and Jazzy Jay. And from make appearances, as well as, then of. In June 2012, Finesse filed a $10 million lawsuit against Rostrum Records and DatPiff for the use of a sample of Finesse's song 'Hip 2 Da Game' used in Mac Miller's 2010 song 'Kool-Aid and Frozen Pizza.' In January 2013 the lawsuit was settled for an undisclosed amount. In 2014, Lord Finesse produced a remix for Swedish rap group single 'Another Love Song'.

— A conversation, usually between parent and child, about sex. May be occasioned by the question, 'Where do babies come from?' Generally occurs in two types.

Type 1: A serious conversation that runs the gamut from mildly awkward to horribly painful, with the elder speaking nervously and the younger reaching for the.., like what to put on the 'Sex' line of a form. Type 2: A humorous conversation in which the child proves to be far more versed in the subject than his/her parent, having already learned the Facts of Life from school, friends, and media, or even through firsthand experience. May end with the fascinated parents taking notes or interjecting 'You can do that?' This subversion is common enough that it has become (which makes this an ). Most often found in but also in comedies. Sometimes comic effect is added by the parent using toys (e.g.

Joe and a Barbie doll) as visual aids. (Please ignore.) Occasionally, it's not played for laughs.. She may be advised that, and that. Or, she may be advised that, rather than something to be enjoyed for its own sake, or something where both partners can (and should) receive pleasure. A kid who's considered too young to know the Facts of Life might be told about the instead. No relation to the all-female of same name. • There was a Swedish ice cream manufacturer (whose trick was the fact that they drove up to your driveway, selling ice cream to the whole neighborhood) whose commercial showed a young boy showing a condom to his father and asking what it was and the father trying to figure out what to tell his son, only to be interrupted by the, and then distracting the kid by offering him ice cream.

Cut to the kid eating ice cream in front of the ice cream truck and showing the condom to another kid who also had a condom. • There is McDonald's commercial where a young kid asks his father what sex is. They go to eat and you see him making gestures. After he's done the child says 'all that goes here?' And shows a sign up sheet for soccer that was asking what his gender was.

• McDonald's are obviously fond of this trope - they also had an ad in the UK where a man finally succeeds in deflecting his daughter's questions about where babies come from by suggesting a trip to McDonald's. • A PSA had a thirteen-year-old boy come home from school, only to find that his dad had set up a diagram to talk about sex. Dad gives the kid a choice: talk about drugs, or talk about sex. They decide to talk about drugs. • There is a really funny car ad in New Zealand, where a boy asks his father where he came from. The father then proceeds to explain to the son (with music playing on top of his words) while driving, with the help of visual innuendo and gestures. At the end, it doesn't end well.

• A Nando's ad from Australia has a kid asking his father where came from. He responds with a golfing analogy, talking about how he sometimes gets a 'hole in one' (just as his wife returns to the table). The kid then says that he thought they came from England. • According to one blurb about: 'He gave his father The Talk.'

• in a Progressive Insurance commercial in which Flo describes the process of bundling home and auto insurance in a manner that makes it sound a lot like sex, complete with sexy background music and a horrified mother holding her son's ears shut. Flo even asks the mother if she'd rather the kid 'learned it on the streets.' • from porn actress Monique Alexander, telling parents to talk to their kids about sex (and how doesn't portray it realistically), or else kids will be getting their lessons from Internet porn. (Which doesn't teach them about how sex actually works, or birth control, or STI prevention, or healthy relationships, or consent, or positive body image, or treating women with respect.). • In the anime, Tomo asks a drunken Kurosawa-sensei to explain it, which she does. We don't hear any dialogue, but are treated to the girls' reactions as their faces () and some odd arm movements. What makes it hilarious is the (and music) accompanying the scene, and then, when Nyamo is sober again the next morning, Watch the whole scene.

• In, Kaname gives a sort of similar talk to Sōsuke (though it was more explaining what 'flirting' and 'picking up women' is). No dialogue is heard, and his reaction is to turn deathly pale and break out into cold sweat, stammering that he 'can't do that.'

Lord knows what his reaction would be should anyone ever give him The Talk about explicit sex. (fast forward mode) When a guy talks to a girl he doesn't know in the city or a store to invite them to hang around with them. The trick is to smile often, and show that you are a cheerful guy. If the girl agrees to come along, you can take her to a cafe or anywhere else you want. Entertain her plenty, smile constantly, and bring up conversations that modern girls would enjoy talking about. And be sure to include some moderate amount of compliments in between. And you have to pay the bill.

In short, just act like Kurz-kun.' At which point Sōsuke realizes he's in waaay over his head. (The dialogue has been Transcribed by intensive use of freeze-frame on a subtitled version of that episode.) • Surprisingly enough, a similar phenomenon comes up in, of all things, the movie.

Shun has spent the first parts of the movie talking about how his mother sent him to find Ryu, but Ken notices something. Tyson's Grandfather: No, that's next week •: During a rather blatant attempt by Kirie to get Touta to sleep with her, it's finally revealed that Touta has no idea what sex is, nor where babies come from.

In that, despite having a 14 year old body, he's actually only 3 or 4 years old in reality. Kirie, frustrated, spends the rest of the night educating Touta on the subject (not a euphemism, she gets out a blackboard and starts teaching him as though in a classroom). And when that fails to work,. • did a routine about the time he had to have The Talk with his daughters. They walk in on him while he's urinating, saying, 'Ohhhhhh, daddy! You've got a wallie wallie!!

Are we gonna get a wallie wallie too??' He shouts back, 'No, you're not gettin' nothin'! Now get outta here!' They leave, but he knows he's going to have to have The Talk with them now, 'because little five-and-four-year-olds—and they go to school—love to make up songs about things. 'We saw daddy's wallie wallie.' ' And before long the teacher would arrive at his doorstep with the police.

Cosby, would you come along with us, please?' So he finds his daughters in their own bathroom trying to make their own wallie wallies come out, urinating all over the floor. His wife comes in and asks what the hell he's teaching the kids. • 19-year-old comedian Daniel Sloss had a routine where he describes his father giving him The Talk. Subverted in that it was actually a talk about shaving.

But poor Daniel thought it was about sex, • One sketch involves a father (Pete) trying to deliver this to his school age son (Dud). It quickly become apparent (to the audience) that the father has no idea how sex works either and cannot be the boy's biological parent. • Subverted in in which whenever Calvin asks his dad where babies come from, his dad always messes with him,, such as him being dropped down the chimney by a pterodactyl (Calvin thinks that's cool), or a construction kit that was bought on sale.

Calvin is only six years old. 'Mostly they come from Sears, but you were a blue-light special at K-Mart.

Almost as good, and a lot cheaper!' • An entire story arc involved preparation for a fishing trip for Walt and Jeremy. Finally, they're out on the boat, and it turns out Walt brought Jeremy out there. To have The Talk. • In a strip, Larry the crocodile's wife tells him to give their son the talk about 'the birds and the bees'. He finds his son and explains to him that birds are tasty and should be eaten, but bees will sting you and should be avoided.

• In the comic 'Timberland Tales', Dr. Rogers attempts to teach little Maurice on the subject by observing two bears mating — unfortunately the bears see them and it doesn't turn out well for either of them. • In the Norwegian comic strip, Nemi tells a boy she is babysitting facts about flowers and bees, because 'his dad paid her to do so'. Note The Norwegian phrase is 'the flowers and bees' instead of 'birds'. Joey: Shut up, Tristan!

You just want to get in Serenity's pants! Tristan: No, I don't! I want to have sex with her! Oh, that's what you meant. • In, the Talk is.

First we get to see the human version, the eponymous trope, then the troll variation, 'the Carve' - since their custodians are mute. • fanart portrays Vanellope asking Felix where new characters come from. •, a fanfic based on the, has Vanellope ask Felix where new programs come from. Felix keeps trying to avoid it, to Vanellope's increasing confusion and frustration, until Calhoun steps in and does it for him.

•: When Misato is revealed to be pregnant, the heated argument that breaks out is interrupted when the titular Aki arrives at the table wanting to know what everyone's talking about. Asuka uses the opportunity to drag Misato to another room for some 'Girl talk', leaving Shinji the job of explaining to a 4-year old about the birds and the bees. Turns out to be a bad idea since Shinji,, botches it and Aki runs into the room a few minutes later asking if Kaji made Misato eat a baby.

Asuka decides to take over after that. • In the of, the Assassins' Guild School delivers 'Personal and Social Development' through the medium of its School Matron, Igorina. Who takes a hundred or so girls at a time and delivers The Talk which is open, frank, heavily detailed, unremitting, and accompanied by lots and lots of very detailed iconographic slides projected onto a very big screen. Assassin schoolgirls are not only thoroughly Educated, they tend to stagger out afterwards in a numb and traumatised state vowing never, ever, ever, to bump any uglies with a boy or get pregnamt. In a coeducational school, Matron Igorina's Talk is also very good aversion therapy, with the result that the AGS has a nil rate of teen pregnancy or regrettably avoidable situations.

By the time of, the Talk is also being delivered to the local equivalent of, who have previously had their version delivered by nuns, who are not really very good at it. • fan works: • An old Harry Potter entitled featured Arthur Weasley explaining the facts of life to Ron in terms of the titular technology. The mostly hilarious sequel is the same principle applied to Molly Weasley telling Ginny about the facts of life, and the trilogy is completed with in which Sirius Black tells Harry that there are several kinds of girls—represented by the different Quidditch balls.

• There is a Harry Potter in which Ginny, caught by her parents in a somewhat suggestive position, is then given The Talk by Arthur, using the metaphor of Plugs and Sockets, while short circuits represent pregnancy and childbirth. • There are several good HP ones of Snape having to teach Sex Ed to Hogwarts students.. • A variation of the above occurs in where Snape finds it prudent to have a little talk with his Slytherin students.

The emphasis of the speech is less on sex itself than the importance of consent, and the moral unacceptability of using coercive spells or love potions to force the act on the unwilling; according to Snape, such behaviour should be considered beneath them, and is grounds for expulsion. (The mood of the scene is lightened somewhat when Snape realises McGonagall has been standing at the door for the latter part of his speech.) • There's one where Ron and Hermione are caught snogging by Ron's entire family, and all of the older Weasley men attempt to have The Talk with Ron, most hilariously the twins, who are armed with Muggle porn. • Quite possibly the best Harry Potter Talk is from.

Sirius: Know what sex is? Harry: Er, mostly. Sirius: Do it before you're sixteen and I'll kick your ass. Harry: Oh, okay.

• There is a hilarious Harry Potter fanfic in which Sirius was asked to give Harry a talk (about a certain Quidditch stunt, but he thought was THE talk), and the Twins - sensing how nervous Sirius was - started off with a crack about 'When a Man Loves a Chipmunk',, and Harry is Traumatized. • The Harry Potter fanfic had a chapter that touched on this in which each of the Marauders is given The Talk by each of their parents and, in Sirius' case, James' parents. While James' dad hems and haws his way through it all, James' mother plays it painfully straight. 'I'm never going to have sex,' James says.

'Life no longer has any meaning. Neither do breasts. I'm becoming a nun.

Do you want to help me research nunneries?' 'I am going to become a castrato,' Sirius replies in a dead voice, 'and sing at the opera.

Why, why, why?' 'It's your fault,' James hisses, 'you and your French poodle.' 'I am full of misery,' Sirius says. 'The end is nigh.' 'I blame you,' James insists, without any vigor to the accusation.

'You and your uncontrolled urges.' Sirius' head thunks as it hits the tiled wall. 'My pamphlets are illustrated.'

'My mum is a madwoman.' 'Your dad tried to tell me about the facts of life. How To Install Schluter Kerdi Waterproofing Membrane more. ' 'My mum used the phrase sexual intercourse.' 'He said the word certainly at least ten times in one sentence.' 'She spoke about her and my dad and — you know.'

Sirius peeks out from behind the curtain. • There's where each Weasley brother plays a prank on Harry as initiation into the family (he started dating Ginny). One of the pranks is convincing McGonagall to give Harry The Talk — with animated diagrams. Afterwards, Harry is coming to his dorms.

And meets Ginny who has the same look he does — her mother talked to her, too. • There's a Harry×Luna fanfic,, where as soon as everyone hears that Harry asked Luna to go see a movie, they each try to give Harry what he calls 'The Lecture'. Almost none of them help. • There's a hilarious one quite simply called where because of his orphan status, various parental figures in Harry's life decide to give him The Talk. He ends up going through it six times.

• In, The Talk goes and or more as it is Lord Voldemort who gives Harry the talk. • In Draco Malfoy is so horrified by receiving The Talk from his father and then accidentally glimpsing his parents having sex that he and Harry drain an entire bottle of firewhiskey. In the following chapter Remus forbids Sirius from ever giving The Talk to Harry because when he tried it with Neville's father, he decided that bananas and a blow-up doll were needed as visual aids. • In Molly and Arthur Weasley give Harry and Ron a hilariously muddled version of The Talk (complicated by the fact that ) where Arthur tries to explain it in terms of plugs and outlets and Molly, well. Molly: When a bird and a bee want to have a baby the bee will.

'sting' the bird and the bird will then lay an egg- Ron: We're bee birds? Harry: I don't want to lay an egg! • fan works: • There's a fic written for that fandom's where for family reasons Chekov had never been given the Talk, and the bridge team decides to rectify this. Unfortunately, rather than selecting one person to do this, almost all of them decide to chime in on it independently. Spock uses diagrams. Bones uses the method.

• There was a hilarious one in which is mailed a pamphlet called ' and you.' • fan works: • A particularly funny fanfic has Naruto going around and asking all the adults in the village what sex is and keeping a journal of the info he gets as they all either brush him off or give him lewd advice. 'NEVER GO INTO ANKO'S HOUSE!

She has a bunch of weird equipment and she's hard to get away from when she gets her clothes off.' •, a hilarious story about Naruto and Sasuke finding out all about sex and fetishes. • has Tsunade order Kakashi, Asuma, Gai and Kurenai to 'go wherever and explain to [their respective teams] the facts of life'.: • Kakashi's way: Using Icha Icha Paradise.

• Gai's way: Using 'euphemism-filled poetry and interpretive dancing'. • Asuma's way: 'Here's a porno video. There's the TV. I'll be back in an hour.' • Kurenai's way: Kiba using Akamaru's 'special friend' to.

• In, Naruto is forced to give one to class 3-A as a punishment for painting entire campus orange. He is less than pleased. • fan works: • There's a very funny fan fic called. Batman, Nightwing, and Superman joined together to give the talk to Robin (Tim). They gave a special type of superhero talk that involves body armor. • has two examples. • First, there is Batman calling Robin once he hears he dates Starfire.

At the end of the chapter (we never actually hear the dialogue). Robin buried his face in his hands, embarrassed beyond belief. 'I still do not understand, man of bats. Please, tell me once more about these 'birds' and 'bees,' and why they are of such vital importance to Robin and myself.'

Starfire somehow managed to procure a pen and pad of paper. 'Perhaps I should take notes, this time.' • The end of the fic is Mento calling Beast Boy, seeing him and Raven kissing, and saying 'You see, when a, um. Uh, tolerates a, uh. Changeling very much.' • A fanfic for where the group is in Tethe'alla.

Colette asks the OC about something that did that involved a girl. Said OC completely freaks out and tells Colette to ask Regal, who in turn gets flustered and doesn't say anything. The next day Colette says that she found the Wonder Chef, who, when asked about sex, proceeded to tell it all to Colette. Including information about fetishes and erectile dysfunction. She blushes in the presence of Zelos and can't even hear the word 'wood' without freaking out. • features giving the talk to his son. He is reluctant at first since he really doesn't see the reason why.

Pepper: Now, are you going to talk to him? Pepper: To-ny! How did you find out about all this? Tony: Experimentation, and • Variations on Murdoc giving Noodle The Talk are almost a in fandom. (worksafe fanart).

• A few fanfics have sprung up which involve learning the finer points of romance and sex, including. • In, Sparx reveals his dad had The Talk with him before he left home. He promptly changes the subject because he doesn't want to talk about it. Volteer and Cyril give a rather tame one to Cynder as well.

Volteer was about to give a much more.detailed version by Cyril cut him off. • fan works: • The fanfic has the Cutie Mark Crusaders getting into hilarious shenanigans as they try to figure out where foals come from, and repeatedly get the wrong idea from asking the Mane Six. • In another fic, Estrus, five of the Mane Six swap stories about how they first learned the facts of life after finding out that Twilight apparently has no idea what being 'in heat' means. Turns out it's a Type 2, as Twilight does know everything already,.

• Played with in: Apple Bloom asks Pinkie Pie where foals come from. Pinkie's answer? Applejack: Yeah, well, Ah’m rethinkin’ my previous stand against sex education in schools, let me put it that way. • features something of a hybrid between the two types.

Cherilee misinterprets something Lyra said to conclude that Trixie is totally ignorant with regard to sex. Being a teacher, she can't let that stand, and proceeds to give Trixie the Talk to end all Talks, incorporating everything she learned in the course of a thoroughly misspent teenhood. Only after she has finished an exhaustive elaboration of equine sexuality does she find out that Trixie is perfectly aware of how sex works, she just finds it really, really, squicky. • For, Sealand gets an incredibly awkward and incomplete version of the talk from Sweden and Finland after accidentally walking in on them in. • In gives her daughter advice on sexual orientation, reproduction, and gender roles— all specifically tailored to Vivio's unique situation. Like how, despite what she and Fate might think, babies generally do NOT come from test tubes, and there are ways that do NOT involve mad science.

• The kinkier side of fandom has a lot of fun speculating about whether feral child has learned the facts of life, and from whom. The guesses (and resulting fics) range from 'clueless virgin' to ' to 'well-versed in the ways of '. • This happens between Kamina and Simon in the fanfic. Somewhat unique in that Kamina, the parental figure, completely lacks embarrassment while discussing this topic and doesn't actually know anything about pregnancy. Kamina: If you're lucky when you get to the vagina, the sperm shoots right through the egg like a bullet. • In the, Souichiro Yagami insists on giving Light the talk while L listens in and gives his ever-helpful input on the matter.

• fan works: • The fanfic has a scene where Aang tries to get his to realize that movie!Katara is, in fact, a girl and he should be attracted to her. Aang just keeps digging himself deeper and confusing movie!Aang. • Most Avatar fics on this subject have Sokka (or another older character) giving Aang the talk. But has an interesting twist on this: it has the teenaged monks of the Air Temple eager to tell an apparently innocent Aang everything they know, only to find that Aang is already pretty knowledgeable on the subject., when Sokka (a century later) decides to give Aang 'the most enlightening conversation [[he'll]] ever have,' it turns out that he actually knows less about sex than the younger kid. •, in which Fire Lord Ozai attempts to explain reproduction to Zuko and Azula.

Being, it doesn't go well. Ozai: It is time for us to have 'The Talk.' Azula: Zuko:: Azula, GO FIND A VOLCANO! BUILD A FORTRESS UPON ITS SUMMIT AND EMBRACE ITS FIRE INTO YOURSELF SO THAT YOUR OFFSPRING CAN SET FIRE TO THE WORLD!

Zuko, YOU MUST FIND A FERTILE VALLEY AND FLOOD IT WITH YOUR SOLDIERS! SOW YOUR SEEDS AND LET YOUR FRUIT CONQUER THE WORLD! ( suddenly wearing Phoenix King helmet) AND DON'T FORGET TO USE PROTECTION! Samsung Galaxy Grand Neo Usb Driver For Windows Xp Free Download here.

Azula: Zuko: But I don't like farming. • An fanfic, aptly titled, has an angry, sexually frustrated being forced to give the 104th training squad a sex ed class, which is funny enough.

What makes it hilarious is that most of the cadets are totally clueless about sex and reproduction. Armin: ( on receiving a condom) Is this some sort of training device? Shadis: It keeps the girl from getting knocked up, period. So wrap that shit up if you're going to bump uglies, you got that?

• It goes both ways in story. At the end of chapter fourteen, Roy is enlisted to give the Elrics The Talk. Loud, outgoing Ed blushes and sputters.

Sweet, innocent Al on the other hand asks, 'What do you want to know?' Made even more hilarious by the bit in chapter sixteen where we find out that Roy was unanimously elected by his subordinates and best friend to do it, without giving him any say in the matter.

• In the fic, twelve-year-old Crona, who is beginning puberty, attempts to ask his what's happening to him, but she blows him off rather cruelly, telling him to never ask her again and just ignore it or he will die. So Ragnarok decides to give him the talk instead.

Ragnarok: Alright. Now sit up and listen, because I'm only explaining this once. • episode 'Princess Kida' has a subplot with Junior wanting to know where babies come from after finding out they don't really come from the stork like his parents told him. Jimmy is too embarrassed to tell him, Yuki tells him babies come from clouds, Kida seems to think they grow on trees, SpongeTron was told that they are manufactured at a factory, Tommy thinks they come from eggs, and Tammy thinks they grow from seeds. •, for attempts to give his sister Gou the talk (via text message) when he finds out she's dating somebody, but the analogy he uses makes it pretty clear he's thinking of. Rin: It's called the birds and the bees but fuck that bugs suck and who gives a flying fuck about birds.

It's all about the sharks and the dolphin. Gou: This is worse than I thought Rin please Rin: Shut up and let me talk! Ok so sharks and dolphins.

Sometimes, sharks and dolphins, against the laws of nature fall in love and want to bang. So sharks act all gracious and romantic and are the damn casanovas of the animals kingdom. Dolphins, on the other hand, are pieces of shit that ignore everything and only care about diving into water and swimming. Won't even call you back fuckin son of a bitch. Gou: Rin, I don't understand how this is at all a lesson in sex education. Also who am I supposed to be in this situation?

Rin: Will you shut up Gou tHIS ISN'T EVEN ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW • fic ' implies that this happens—the chapter ends with Scott asking Charles where babies come from. Made all the more awkward by the fact that Scott is sixteen and.

• In, Misato decides that her young wards need to hear 'The Talk'. Shinji and Asuka's reaction was try to endure it as long as possible, but they ran screaming eventually. The mortification the two of them experienced after Misato gave them ‘The Talk’ in the morning lasted for days, especially since Misato was so cheerfully nonchalant about the whole thing and seemed completely unashamed about the explicitness of her explanations. They had only been able to stare in mute horror as she showed them where her stash of condoms was located before she proceeded to give a demonstration on how to actually put one on using a banana as reference.

Their protests of “Too much information!” went on deaf ears, and even seemed to egg Misato on. When she started giving tips they had simply run screaming from the apartment, holding their ears.] • fic ': Nunnally notes that she really needs her brother to give her the talk as her knowledge is limited to what she sees in romantic novels and what Euphemia shows her with her relationship. But Lelouch refuses thinking that she's too young to know. • Suzaku laments that 'The Talk' his adoptive mother gave him turned out to be completely useless. His adoptive mother only told him about the mechanics of heterosexual sex but Suzaku realizes that he's gay. • In the fanfic, Alphys upgrades Mettaton to be, ahem, 'fully functional', since it doesn't seem fair to leave him without the option just because she's too embarrassed. She then has to explain exactly what these new parts are supposed to do.

She winds up showing him Transformers porn.